Thursday, July 27, 2006

I think a general wtf?! works well as a title here

As foretold by David Icke...

...the invasion of the lizards and human blood drinking shape-shifters has come to pass.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

It's over

I apologise (to anyone who might've wanted to attend) for not posting this earlier. But I was busy. And although I dearly do love the Arts, I do think the plight of the Palestinians and Lebanese is more important than Krekvars.

Krekvars is our annual drama festival. It's nowhere near as huge or as grand as Grahamstown. It's still a baby festival. Most of the stuff is amateur productions written, directed and produced by the Drama Students. Now UP is a GREAT university. Too bad about the Blaaaaahnians from Blaaaaahdium messing it up with their petty minds, narrow minded views, bitchiness, judgemental attitudes and general sense of Blaaaaahness.(They single handedly manage to kill it for me.) Anyway the quality of research and education is good and UP notoriously doesn't market itself well enough. Probably out of a fear of the Deluge of Dumbness from all quarters deciding to pour in some more. Who knows. But our admin is jacked up and it's almost a total pleasure to deal with the tannies there.We're a well oiled, efficient machine. Our Humanities faculty is the largest in the country as well as one of the better funded ones too. SCORE!!!!!!!!! for teh_post-grads.

I encouraged my Communication for Engineers students (yes the irony of the course title has struck me many times) to go. And I think they came back scarred, the two that did go. Now they really think Humanities students are up to crap.hahahhaha.

So I saw a couple of plays (which have to be 45 mins long so as to fit between lecture times) and reviewed them, just as my friend Andrea (who was putting together the daily review magazine)asked: between 50-100 words. i R rock, said everything I wanted to say in 75 words. cool hey?

Arrggh so now Krekvars's over and it feels like the year's being whittled away again. And I'm running out of options to stay on (any)campus for much longer now :(. But since theatre's in my blood (literally) and I've been intermittently on stage since circa 4/5 yrs old. I am quite a dramatic person anyway (in case you didn't notice). Not a drama queen though, just dramatic and possibly theatrical in my never ending madness. So the Inklings (creative writing society) which our CEO (Mrs N)terms "the fight, bite and write club", are putting on another play after the totally fantastic take on Oliver Goldsmith's She Stoops to Conquer. For the benefit of the Second years.And guesswhatguesswhatguesswhat!!!!!!! It's gonna be a VAMPIRE play. Terry Pratchett's Carpe Jugulum. YAYAYAYAYAYAYYAY!!!!!!!!. One of my favourite authors and favourite subjects combined. Our plays rock cos for additional cast members we rope lecturers in. They're suprisingly game, because just as John Eppel in Hatchings points out something to the effect that "English Departments attract anarchists of all sorts" (meeeeeeeeeeeeeh lol)dunno if I quoted that correctly.

*insert some sort of cohesive conclusion here*

Your one stop shop for arb-random-nonsense

Sunday, July 23, 2006

We woke up, to war...

TheChroniclesofBlaaaaahnia was never meant to be about politics. I had designs of putting all of my thoughts of that nature onto another forum. But alas, I feel I must have my say on this. Last weekend or the weekend before, we woke up and another war had broken out. We were all groggy-eyed and a post- Sharon government, trying to look like they mean business are well at work murdering people in neighbouring Lebanon, how very intelligent to start WWIII over Sunday breakfast, I might add.

Granted the Middle East isn’t the most politically stable area on earth and there’ve been cross border raids for years. But is the life of one Israeli soldier captured worth more than the estimated 1000 Lebanese and Muslim lives lost? Is being killed and captured not part of a soldier’s job description in the first place? It’s definitely not in a civilian’s job description to be bombed by US sponsored Israeli weaponry in your own home. Something’s awry and we all know that governments have wars to detract attention from the real deal at home. And now according to a New York Times Report it seems as though there is not going to be an end to all of this anytime soon.

Israel attacks “Hizbollah Targets” such as schools, airports, hospitals etc. And somehow or the other this is regarded as “Israel’s right to defend herself” and not as terrorist activity which Muslims are accused of when they dress as Muslims and have a birthday party together. The bottom line is that this whole business is just pure arrogance. There’s arrogance on the part of Israel knowing full well that they’ve got the US backing them regardless and arrogance on the part of the Arabs who won’t give up without a fight or unite or insist on talks. (Talks which never seem to see things from their side anyway.) Sometimes I really think that we are“nothing but a shadow, a faceless generation, devoid of love…”

I support the Palestinian Muslims and Christians because they do live in appalling poverty, misery and under extreme oppression meted out to them by Israel. This is not an anti- Semitic statement at all. The Word semitic encompasses and implies Arab as well. Not all Jews are Zionists the same way not all Afrikaaners are AWB members. Jews like Muslims and Christians are As-hab Ul Kitaab (People of the Book).Zionism is not a religion.It's a political and nationalist ideology that is flawed and based on warped logic, just like how Apartheid was constructed. I understand the desperation which drives the Palestinians to fight for their land, their people and their cause. But I do not understand war. Killing people on both sides will not make the situation better. Human Life is human life. The same righteousness and God we’re all fighting for is Merciful and will judge each individual accordingly. The same Satan we’re fighting against is the same Satan encouraging us to fight supposedly in the Name of God. God doesn't ask us to fight for Him. If He wanted to he'd smite us all off the face of this earth. God asks us to show gratitude for the multitude of favours He's bestwoed on us.I agree completely with Ed and Live again “There’s nothing more Godless than a war”. People have become so desensitised and so lacking in humanity that this does not matter to both sides.

Each side views its fallen heroes as martyrs to the cause and each side is equally indoctrinated into the righteousness of their cause. The Lebanese should wake up and smell the kah-wa because this whole thing looks like a complete set-up to get Iran and Syria involved. And then Dubya can claim they’ve gone against some obscure clause in something or the other and invade, loot and plunder. And by the way

if it's ever leaked.Conspiracy theories aside….

How sick do people have to be to take the life of another human? How sick are you to teach innocent children to hate? How sick are you to allow children to believe that there is only one version of anything? How sick are you to teach children that your political ideology is more important than your ethical/religious one?

I’m not pasting these pictures because of sensitive readers etc but click and have a look and you tell me whether that’s warranted or not?

Right now I don’t even know if I’m making sense or not. All I know is what I feel and what I feel is that this is all completely unjust and iniquitous. Both sides should read Anne Rice’s Queen of the Damned. Akasha might’ve been onto something when she told Lestat the only way for the world to be safe, is to kill all the men and leave only a good few for breeding purposes. When the legacy of violence and subjugation and hate has been eradicated then she will allow the numbers to increase and the population to grow. And the world shall be at peace…. Apparently….

Seem's like nothing's changes since-
“Imagine there's no Heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one.”

“The world got smaller but the bombs got bigger…” how sad, how arrogant, how disrespectful, how narcissistic, how corrupt, how true- how humanly inhumane.

*sigh* such is the mark of the species you lot chose :P
The Elven-Vampyre

Friday, July 21, 2006

Reading History is not a good idea...

...because you end up with a head full of details that no one actually cares about.Actually, only Blaaaaahnians don't give a damn and since I'm surrounded by them and I cannot infringe on their stupidity and tell them such things, I shall keep it for the virtual realm. Now seeing as though I'm a part-time Historian as well (never ending bundle of suprises aint I? :p), I've decided to share a little bit of random history.

Ernest Hemingway was born today in 1899. Puts him squarely into the Modernist literary bracket, although he started writing towards the end of it. I think he won a Nobel at some stage and a Pulitzer too. And like all great artists he also killed himself (when he was in his 60s I think). If you're looking for poetic writing you're not going to find it with him, cos his style was just to say things, he has practically adjective free writing. Yes, dear ones, he didn't write like your queen here He wrote the book For Whom the Bell Tolls (title coming from John Donne of the metaphysical poets famous poem which has the lines "Do not ask for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee". Donne also wrote the "no man is an island" poem. Starting to click now people?

Annnnnnyway on this day 21 July Neil Armstrong set foot on ze moon. He beat those damned Commies to it yeah, and he did it cos he's American and they're free and brave and they kicked the asses of those Unholy Reds... (And please do NOT comment and say "You know he heard the Azaan up there" cos, besides space being a vacuum, I promise you, I will lock you in a room with Aunty Bibi (neighbour/resident self-taught theoretician) and then you can have a discussion with her and the assortment of other theories of that ilk.)

Yep and that icon of recklessness and of the "Wild West" Jesse James robbed a train for the first time in History in 1873. He pulled an Ocean's 11 type move.His career prior to becoming an "outlaw" was as a guerilla/militia type for the Confederacy during the American Civil War. I remember when I was really young there was this thing on the news where they were gonna be exhuming his body to check that he really was dead and that it really was him buried there. Weird hey? That such a person can be so ingrained in popular culture/modern folklore that their legacy holds a 100 years after they're dead.

I wonder if the same's gonna happen to Kurt Cobain.... His file's never been closed and I just can't understand how come he hasn't joined Tupac and Elvis in that Pantheon of People who're still around, living it up by cleaning floors in cheap diners and motels in Middle America.

The Truth is Out There...
woooo hoooo hooo hooo hooo hooo *spine tingles*
^^^ Credits to Mark Snow

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Rock On

Happy Birthday to Carlos Santana born this day in 1947. Rock Legend.

He who so famously told groupies "I cannot do to your body what my music does to your soul... Good Night" *shuts door*"

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

In case you didn't know...

This is so true

Thanks to "cujo" for that laugh...

w00t!!!Two posts in one night, I astound myself sometimes :)


Should I? Shouldn't I?

I'm being a fan. A fan as in the "bad" sense. I've listed Ed Kowalczyk's (of Live fame's) blog together with everyone else falling under my own version of Rice's "Coven of the Articulate" (See links on the sidebar, where it says "Coven of the Keyboard Scribblers" if you're still looking :)). Anyway they're my favourite band in the whole world, cos they don't sing about nonsense such as "bitches", "ho's", "crack","drive by shootings", or "my shoes, u spilt champagne on my shoes?", "I love you cos you're rich", or "I'm singing this cos someone else wrote it to appeal to the masses and I'm really trying the sincerity thing here" and neither do they dance in sync or have choreographed hand gestures. I've got this cd in my car with Live stuff from 1992-2002 and I've been listening to it for pretty much the last year or so. I've got other compilations of Live too. I own all the cds in CD form etc etc. Their lyrics make me think, and they're interesting from a Lit point of view too....

Anyway I'll shut up before I sound like an obsessed,psychotic groupie....(BTW for the uninitiated Blaaaaahnians they're Live pronounced as in aLIVE laaaaii-vve not Live as in Liv Tyler or as in I LIVE in a house. For those that know, sorry, you'll be surprised at what lurks out there.)

So this is where my "moral" should I/shouldn't I flip my lid dilemma comes in. I opened the blog on Firefox and Kowalczyk is spelt incorrectly. Must be a typo. It's on the heading thingy part when it's minimised or when you open a new tab. It's spelt as Kowalcyzk. It IS a typo. And I am merciful on typos but not really on people you just generally spell like crap. I edit for a part-time living. It just happens, that these errors pop up at me. I know an error on an Ed page is just the same as an error from a Blaaaaahnian. But people/students who send you(in your professional capacity) an email which reads like "me ws @ ur ofc 2dy bt nvr c d ltr il cme gt it 2mrw n ftch my assnmnt den 2 bt i 1td 2 no wen i cn rite d tst cs i gt anada tst d sme tym il cum by u 2mrw. Thnx Gd bliss frm *******"

WTF... there's no freaking vowels there. I keep telling the nitwits that they're free . VOWELS ARE FREE. And FFS I sure as hell don't want anyone let alone one of my students deciding to "cum by me". eeeeeeeewwwww man. L33t was cool at one stage in about 1998 and is still cool in some quarters when done with effect and style. But this butchering of language is uncalled for. And on top of it all. Which moron asks a lecturer(of a language noggal) for a favour and then writes like that. I seem to have gathered that they have a clash of sorts, I could be mistaken. It's like they're begging me to say no. They want me to make their lives miserable. They want me to lose it and go mental. They want to see me turn into Lurch from the Addamz family (and at around 1.7m+ tall I might just fit the part). They want me to turn into an Editing Zombie fighting the power of the bad language usage and staring blankly at their vile and vowel-less communication and gleaning meaning from it. I will not.

This is an irritation, and yes I will/could fill thousands of pages on this topic but I shall try to maintain some sanity and stuff. Now should I or shouldn't I let IT write the aegrotat? muahahahahhahahaha *evil laugh*

"Thnx Gd Bliss"

PS in all likelihood, I'll feel sorry and cave in. Bleh, it sucks having a conscience sometimes.
PPS at least the God aka Gd (could be good or goad bless? Ok i'm being facetious now)got a capital letter.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Splitting Hairs

I have curly hair. Yeah, who'd have thought hey? But all my life I've always heard of beautiful and hair syntactically combined with the adjective- STRAIGHT. So I guess if I follow the rules on this one, then by extension I'm out of this beauty bracket...again. But when have I ever reaaaaaaaalllly followed the rules?:) The daemon that is Society stabs the people,who fall outside of the box,in their feet(foot's? gerund?)...again.

Up until the beginning of this year I've had varying lengths of hair, but mostly it's been mid-long. Avowed Goths/grungers (with CLEAN hair) don’t really opt for hair cutting. And it sort of suited me to look like Hermione Granger when I probably end up sounding like her all the time (given that Fate has landed me in the Blaaaaahnian Capital of Blaaaaahdium and I am generally surrounded by an intellectually devolved sub-species of humanity). **DISCLAIMER** (Now let me redeem myself here by saying that I’ve been blessed not to have very thick or coarse hair. My hair’s baby fine and soft and other such nice and pretty things so when it is straight most people can’t believe it was ever curly. Unlike some curly-haired people where you can take one look at their hair which seems to be fighting gravity and trying to spring back into curls despite the best attempts of the wearer to get it to stay on the sleek side. My hair's not really been chemically played with as well. My hair dresser makes a song and dance about my “virgin hair” (yes, I too am WTF? @ that comment) especially when there’s 10 year olds in the salon with foil in their hair (and they look at me like I’m a dork, which I might be, but that’s another chapter) Lol. OMG I must be SO vain, I’m blogging about my hair OMG! OMG! OMG!) **END OF DISCLAIMER** There's also just the practicality of it all, rather have a head full of bouncy curls which have occurred as your hair dries naturally then spend time with a hair dryer and feel like a girl. errrrrggghhhh.

Now, my hair obsession is borderline OCD here, people. I MUST wash and condition it every single day. That doesn’t sound like obsession at all, however like all good info-mercials…but wait, there’s more. Ummmm, yeah, the shampoo to conditioner ratio MUST be exact. 2 shampoos: 1 condition. Any person with an iota of mathematical knowledge will tell you that this theory holds valid at 4:2, 6:3 8:4 etc...Now you see what I mean? And no, I am not satisfied that my hair is washed until the maths works out. No I don't count, after 22 years on this planet you sort of develop a feel for things like that. And my maths is ALWAYS correct (at least when it comes to shampoo: conditioner use). If shampoos were arranged according to adjectives other than those negative ones (normal, oily, dry, yada yada) my shampoo type wouldn’t be normal(which is the only thing "normal" about me), it’d be Lovely or Beautiful or maybe, maaaaaaaaaaaaaaybe Perfect. hahaha zOMG the vanity, ok I’m in Lestat mode, I’m not like this generally, I swear.

Well then at the beginning of this year when I got back from my Indian adventure (read the executive summary somewhere down there↓) I decided to have the chop a few days upon my return. It was the hair obsession talking. I wanted to be perfectly sure that a hair dresser had professionally washed my hair, to make SURE that anything from India which could of possibly have contaminated my hair and scalp was OUT. I’m not saying India is full of nits and lice (I SHUDDER when I hear those words btw) cos it’s not, the Amla kills the stuff, I think, I hope… I wanted to make sure all the soot from the pollution was out because I would have sleepless nights over that worry. So I had a pretty drastic chop. The back bits could be spiked, but Butch does NOT appeal to this Sundance Kid, so it stays flat.

I love/d the look. I look/ed completely different. I regretted cutting my tresses the very next day and the day after and the day after that…. I only want to look like a Spawn of Ozzy (As in teh_Osbourne and DEFINITELY not one of his biologically connected ones, but you know what his hair is like black, long, down the middle etc etc) again for one reason. I’m no hair dresser [and (okay, make that two reasons) I’ve been told by several people now that I remind them of Kelly Clarkson. Yes, an ex POP-idol, WTF?WTF?WTF?]. Whoever the hell said short hair is low maintenance needs a kick up their opinionated derrière. It’s not. There’s this piece of hair that just bugs me though, the piece at my right ear will not do anything besides curl outwards. I’ve tried the hair iron business too, that helps considerably but the damn thing won’t stay down. And I HAVE to blow dry my hair nearly every single day because as adorable as hobbits are there’s no sweet f’n way I’m walking around looking like one… With double or more than the hair length I have now I could have sleek, straight hair in under 30 minutes, I now take a good 20 minutes to resemble something remotely un-hobbitish. The maths doesn’t add up.

This is the seriousness of the situation. I, me, moi, queen_Lestat feel the need to do something as outrageously girly as attempting to style my hair. ALTHOUGH (redemption) I don’t bother un-hobbiting myself if I’m gonna be at home. My hair doesn’t need to be fried with rotating hot air to within an inch of its life. This is one of those things that Blaaaaahnia causes. You don’t want to conform, but at some stage it starts creeping in into the little things like this. Meh…I’ve devised a new scheme, the queen shall NOT succumb, she’ll make ample use of her hats to disguise her lack of hairstyling talent. Besides Islam rocks!!! We’ve got a scarf for all seasons. Everything from beanies to the Blossom revival hats(not too fond of those cos I’m not 12 anymore, and neither am I going picnicking on a raft with a Mark Twain sponsored cast), Che Guevara-like berets (I’ve got an original one from the 50s or 60s. Talk about retro eh? YAY!! For liberal ancestors and stuff) to my trusty caps…

I shall prevail on this quest. My hair shall be spared another lifetime. My hair just HAS to grow back. Blaaaaahnia will have to find another way to try and ensnare me. HA!!! queen_Lestat countless thousands millions gazillions: Blaaaaahnia ½ *shines her nails on her collar* …

Diola lle

Thursday, July 06, 2006

TRAUMA!!! Tragedy at the hands of ineffective pop-up blockers

Thanks to the k-man for the make-over. Yips, the blogging bug has bitten and you're now reading the re-launched, funked-up version of the ChroniclesOfBlaaaaahnia.

Well now...look what popped onto my screen, the complete epitome of self-absorbtion and stupidity combined. However, I'm most pleased to announce that there is some hope for the human species since I also discovered that there is mirth to be had at the expense of some people's lives .

I find this most traumatic,really. That people can be famous for being airheads.For slutting around and being a digital-format porn-skank, suing your executive producer from a sense of supposed outrage and skandaaaaaaaal and then still taking a cut of the profits. For being totally spineless and soulless.And just downright Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah <---yes, that much emphasis is required. I bet David Icke's trying to figure out her lizard ancestory right as we speak.

It is with disgust,dismay and a general sense of the total loss of self worth that I have discovered that Miss Paree has written a book (albeit about total fluff and apparently it was ghostwritten) and I have yet to pen my first chapters. The fact remains that PARIS "teh_doos" HILTON has her name on that last bastion of the old world...a published book.Pages between covers.

This means WAR!!!How dare she and her marketing team infringe on my territory?How dare they deem her and her dimness worthy of being printed?Where's the publisher's sense of ethics? Do they not realise that giving her and her posse of fluff-balls entry into the domain of readers might just spawn an entire new generation of the scourge of Blaaaaahnia? As if we don't suffer enough already....

Once upon a time there was a battle against Evil and the Dark forces. It is noted in literary history as the Last Allegiance of Men and Elves. As a Vampyric-Elf I ask you all, let us hope that the plague ends with her.

Séjour Fort

PS k-man's wrath and logic spreads further than mine

Sunday, July 02, 2006

Titles start from here

Aaaaah, that's where it's been hiding, I've found it. Henceforth, I shall try to use as much sub-editor's skill as I can muster in order to give some form of structure to my posts. Also, I do believe, having a title will force me to stick to some kind of topic, instead of wafting all over the place like a high on light, debilitated moth.

This was meant to be a bellyache about Highveld Stereo and SA radio in general; however that blog shall follow sometime, as will the James Joyce one. As you will have noticed I now have a picture up. You will no doubt imagine my surprise when I opened up my email and found that a rather reticent (and anon) reader had emailed me this picture. As a gesture of graciousness I've put it up.

I have loads of images on my computer, as an art aficionado and as a photographer, net addict and Goth/allthingscult/vampire archivist of note. However I could not find something that would quite fit here. I mean, I might seriously offend some Blaaaaahnian with all my bloody (and I mean this literally) images. There's not many people who'd like to see a syringe shoved into a tongue or blood running out of a vampiric mouth or a fallen angel with rotted wings, skin, and bleeding eyes.(If there are, drop me a line, most of those pictures have stories).

So now, the anon email-er has asked me to consider this picture because he/she feels that it would greatly suit my nature and the nature of my writing. Anon email-er has also provided me with general thoughts on this blog but, alas, wishes to remain anon.

As I type this, I start to think I might just have a stalker on my hands....

I do love this picture- a black, dead rose bleeding from one of its thorns- a neo-Gothic memorial to the Romantics.... It really does so appeal to the Vampyre in me. So it shall stay up for a while methinks, until everyone else is strong enough for bleeding tongues and eyes:p or I feel evil enough to scare the Blaaaaahness outta any Blaaaaahnians visiting here:D.

Thank you again for the picture and the comments Mr/Ms. Anon.

Bis Später