Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Close Encounters of the Fan Kind

As weird as the following tale will sound, please be rest assured that as weirded-out as you will be, I was more so weirded-out. Right now, back to business.

I was going to do this one press release style, but hey I don't take myself seriously enough to do so. And it seems very lame now, though it was funny on Sunday. To the point, yeah get on with it, say the voices.

What is it with Blaaaaahnians?I mean really, people are going for Hajj, but 27 people pitch up to say goodbye to 2 people. Fair enough, but there's a designated Hajj Meet and Greet area at JHB International/O.R. Tambo International. Logic dictates that you go to those places and do your whole business there. But no, Blaaaaaahnians need to stand in the queues at the check in counters with the people travelling. Consequently, this creates a glut of people which then inconveniences everyone else because there's no place to move.

Bearing in mind that the general Hajj greeting process goes something like this: people going for Hajj go and visit all relevant people informing them of their intention to go, then the people who were greeted go to the people going to go and greet them before they go. And then they still rock up at the airport for one last shot at a goodbye. Before the cultural crusaders, imbecilic bandwagoners, and right-clicking thieves and company decide to educate me, I do know the meaning of the tradition and why people feel it is important. My gripe here is why they can't follow the rules and go to the designated area and not clog up an entire airport terminal making small talk from 6pm for a flight that leaves at 10pm. Blaaaaahnians.

Here's the weird part. So I'm at the airport, and I was at the check in area, not to be a Blaaaaahnian pleb, but because I had gone to find parking and was locating the car key owner who was in the queue. I decided to wait a bit away from the crowds because of the above ^. I don't like to inconvenience people, yes I'm nice like that. I stood about for a bit looking at the scene in front of me and thinking about how blog-worthy the whole situation was.This is when I notice a couple looking my way, then looking away. Forgot about it, and eventually I decided that I might as well go upstairs and watch some planes.

With the throngs at the airport as thick as being on the Plains of Arafat, I had to weave my way through a bit to get out. My Jheri Curl path takes me past "The Couple" and as I walk past them I hear a solitary "queen_Lestat?!". They didn't shout out loud or anything, but it was audible, (if I had no idea what it was about, I'd have walked right on)so I stopped and turned around kinda worried that I was starting to hear things. So "The Couple" nudges each other and then very politely asked me if I was queen_Lestat. I think they need to add a cement slab to the part of the floor where my jaw dropped. My dialogue was something like "errr, ehm, err yes, why?" and their response was a something gushy along the lines of "omg lol you're our hero!!!". Now queen_Lestat is an under the radar type character so this came as a bit of a shock. They recognised me from my blog. No, you didn't miss any pictures, but I'm sure you'd maybe consider stealing that too for some other nefarious ends.

Male-reader-half-of-"The Couple" said:"From your blog I figured tall female, dressed in black, wearing Doc Martens in this day and age".

queen_Lestat said: "Err you took a pretty calculated guess"

Female-reader-half-of-"The Couple" said: "We've been reading your blog for ages now, I thought it was maybe possible, plus you were looking at the place like you were amused, you know like posting a Chronicle"

queen_Lestat (still all wtf?):"Guilty as charged, lol, but I could've been anyone?"

Female-reader-half-of-"The Couple":"That's why we tried saying queen_Lestat because only someone who it clicks with will get it"

queen_Lestat: "aaaah clever people!"

*lols all around*

Male-reader-half-of-"The Couple": "I've never met a famous person before, we email all your stuff to our friends"

*queen_Lestat dies a million deaths*

Female-reader-half-of-"The Couple": "lol, so like can you please blog about this"

queen_Lestat (utterly mortified): "lol okay, it's too weird not too"

*exuant stage left*

Strues people, the weirdness of the life that is mine.Okay so they're loyal readers, but it doesn't make it any less weird.It's amazing how tiny little details can mean so much, things which you'd never really notice or think of as being too important.

I have no idea who these people are really, but hey here's your special Chronicle delivery on demand for you guys. Glad you enjoy them :)

I wonder if they, like Hunter S Thompson thought "there (s)he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die."

Love and staaarph to my two new found email people

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Thursday, November 15, 2007

From Timorous Infant to Enfant Terrible: The Chronicles Turn Two!

So last year I gave the Chronicles a treat and we did the whole first birthday party thing like any proud mummy would do. This year, we've matured a bit and so in celebration of our coming of age and further entrenchment in the blog world: (wait for the end, I need to stuff more stuff in first, then just pretend that the other stuff came here kthxbye).

Entrenchment (for the retarded eejits who continue to bombard me with /quit blogging requests) is a noun referring to the act of entrenching, entrenching on the other hand is a transitive verb meaning to be firmly placed in a particular area/position. Right, now that that's done with here's the birthday treat.

This is what I believe I should be saying to all those morons. This is my take on The Chronicles of Blaaaaahnia. And here's to another year of slow, sporadic (though at times not so worth it) posts. VIVA TO THE DEMISE OF BLAAAAAHNESS!!!

See you guys on the flip side of this, I've got some stuff in my head.

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Monday, November 05, 2007


I am usually one of the first people to warn against the dangers of reductionist theories when it comes to history.


To all the rebels,the idealists, the believers in the mantra of: what we sow today we reap tomorrow,the anarchists, the ones who are willing to fight for your causes without fear. To anyone who thinks our days of fighting for freedom are over(and to those who believe they're not),to anyone who is willing to sacrifice themselves to make a difference.

To anyone who believes in the power of the greater good of the people outweighing the corruption and oppression of governments the world over.To anyone who believes in the importance of the freedom and independance of the media. To all those who believe that they contribute to educating people about the importance of all of the above.To anyone with an ounce of Romanticism and poetic depth left about their souls,

Happy Guy Fawkes to all of you!

She who advocates anarchy without violence

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