Sunday, March 30, 2008

Best Left in the 90s

I know I harp on about music alot, it's one of my great passions in life. However, there's some music which just makes me want to hurl. For the moment, we'll excuse pop with the likes of girl/boy bands(consisting of 30 year old MEN, none of whom play any instruments-spot the irony if you will)and we'll excuse trance/house/blahblahblah( not really worth giving an opinion on this,because well I'm still deciding whether to classify it as music or whether it belongs in the category of noise.mp3). We will not even discuss Indian music or more specifically Bollywood rubbish (and no, I don't care how beautiful the lyrics are when you translate it into English, it (tune/melody/beat) sounds like crap/pop/regurgitated 70s disco beats to me).I won't venture to hip-hop either, which was once the sound of the streets and the poor and is now the sound of the rich who get off condescending at the poor. What I want to discuss is the most disgusting music ever- RnB.

While music history teaches one that it might've had very noble roots and gave hope to slaves and farm workers and was the American equivalent of Umshiniwam. Take a listen to the rubbish lyrics that they churn out which I would assume is supposed to be sexy...but it actually sounds like the musical version of 12 year old online cyberers who pretend they're 16 and spell without vowels. In other words, retards.Typical dialogue of the species goes something like this:

Kewt-boi "hi asl,i cn c u gt sxy nik,want 2 cybr" (rant: WHY CAN'T PEOPLE TYPE NORMALLY? IT TOOK ME LONGER TO TYPE THAT THAT THEN THE WHOLE PREVIOUS TWO LINES-/rant-another debate.

So anyway you get the picture. Poor lyrics, bad language, filthy images and general scummy values allow the fan-base masses to indulge their senses in a cheap-sex thrill.

While this might not exactly be RnB (or maybe it is, I'm outside of my genre here so I could be wrong) Ludakris at the 46664 Concert in Johannesburg last year belted out the following lyrics to a crowd of thousands "I won't stop til I get them in they birthday suits so give me the rhythm, and it will be off in they clothes" followed by "we want a lady in the street but a freak in the bed". Please take note that the concert was in aid of Aids awareness. And here you have someone who sings about easy women, easy sex etc. Spot the irony? This is just an off the top of my head example of how music of this sort, just promotes bad values and demeans women, it might not necessarily be the best example. Sure, RnB fans might make the case against some shock rockers like Marilyn Manson and co, but to Manson's credit, when you dig beneath the surface of his lyrics, you often find a surprising bit of social commentary or unveiling of the standard hypocrisies.

I find RnB too "turn-off"ish for lack of a clearer phrase. Which gets me thinking, whether I'm missing out on something, after all the legions and legions of fans must be picking up on something I'm not. My neighbours are classic examples of this(wonderful people though, in every regard besides their music taste). Almost Sunday morning whilst washing their cars; (yeah, they've got American flag bandanas hanging off the rear-view mirror, and the uncle does have a pair of black Ray-Bans with the ivory and gold bridge bit over the nose); I am subjected to the Blaaaaahnians playing a cd(at full volume it seems)consisting of Boyz II Men's End of the road, followed by I'll make love to you, followed by In the Still of the Night. And then the aunty will shout out "OOO I like this song, don't make it slow, put fast volume" and then queen_Lestat groans and pulls her pillows over her ears and curls up into foetal position and shrinks deeper into her bed. I mean wtf? A little consideration for the grunger in your vicinity would be nice people!

Now here's a classic example of the crap that is RnB, and (as you shall hear in a bit) the song which inspired the post. I REFUSE to watch this video(and I won't name it either,so you're all forced to watch a few seconds to know what I'm on about! i R ev0ln355 :P), so I don't know if it's the original or what, but here goes:


Anyway here's the story. While it might've been the hit of 1992/3, there was Nirvana to listen to as well at the time. There was also Snow's Informer (which proved why only one White Boy should rap per decade) and the cult classic Whitney (pre-crack revelations) Houston with I Will Always Love You (and iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-hee-iiiiiiiiiii, jis, the dramatic overkill in that song teh_lol) and UB40 was pretty big then too, and Meatloaf (well, Bat Out of Hell was on the charts for 9 years.True story and random bit of music trivia for you there).

Flash back to 2008 and you're coming back from a night out and stop at a petrol station, where about 15 guys (men) are listening to the song (at a volume that would make a jet engine seem mute) in the video above and dancing with one another in the most horrifically obscene way.Literally bump 'n grind. Quite revolting really, makes seeing the side of the road pee-ers (the members of the uri-Nation) seem tame-like. Not the ideal way to end a Saturday night. No Sir, not at all.

After that episode, I'm sufficiently traumatised to say,
"It's raining, it's raining, tears from my eyes..."

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Blogger cobain said...

UGGGGGGGH RAH I can't believe you lol not that song!!! that is SICK hahahhaha. this post rocks

I see videos like that and then I think maybe Kurt killed himself rather than listen to the crappy music that was to come after him

and LOL at uri-Nation.

March 30, 2008 4:36 pm  
Anonymous bazh said...

Lol no man rah, you made me watch that? Gross man lol, that's the single most disgusting song of all time. Rnb or not.It's just filthy hahaha the video's equally pathetic and highly traumatic.Peter Andre was also yuck around the same time, and then there was Silk,and that youtube dancing couple video hahaha. You should do a follow up post with the crappiest bad-sexy (unsexy) songs of all time. And that includes that bleeding guitar in my arms song from bon jovi lol. I think I'm gonna make zay watch this video, only to watch her literally turn green lol!

March 31, 2008 12:41 pm  
Anonymous Ferez said...

Mish's song! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha LOL they were bumping and grinding to mish's song hahahahahahahahaha lol sorry for the dumb laughing but do you remember? LOL

March 31, 2008 5:27 pm  
Anonymous bazh x2 said...

I FORGOT ABOUT MISH hahhahahhaha


rahness!!! please reply to this comment and just write about Mish and the song if you still remember, otherwise mail me asap and I'll refresh your memory. roflol this post is going to turn into an in house joke I think :D


March 31, 2008 9:10 pm  
Blogger queen_Lestat said...

LOL! Omg I forgot about the Mish thing. Okay, let me tell people about the Mish incident so we're not being rude here.

Ferez had a dog called Mish,and one day we were all sitting around (I think we were about 15 years old) and and this song in the video came on the radio (Mish started making weird sounds) and Bazh was trying to turn the radio off/lower the volume and he made it louder by mistake cos that song is just yerggh. But Mish wasn't shutting up so instead of sorting out the radio, us animal lovers went to check up on the dog first.

Lo and the song started, and Mish started making weird noises...there we see Mish- humping the patio furniture leg.

We laughed ourselves silly, and when Bazh put the volume down, Mish groaned even more and went running about in a circle, so Bazh increased the volume and Mish went on to hump the car tyres I think.


Thanks for bringing that one back Ferez, least there was one carbon based being that the song succeeded in turning on. LOL

April 01, 2008 12:23 am  
Blogger Libra said...

It's sad that hip hop has become such a parody of itself. And I mean that,it really is.

Lol at the Mish story. Feel the cuteness of ql and friends at the age of 15.

April 01, 2008 10:27 am  
Blogger CorpseKicker said...

Krma: sry hun ima rly try n figr out wut ur probz wth talkin kewt iz..

Good God. People should rant more about the perfect illustration of the degeneration of "US":

April 02, 2008 8:40 pm  
Blogger floydthebarber71 said...

this song rocks! yeeee bitches

April 02, 2008 11:19 pm  
Blogger Noorjehaan said...

aw lol i love that song. simply because my sisters loved it when i was a kid. had i heard it after the rebellious charm i experienced at 11 things might have been different. shane ward's kinda crap should DIE

June 09, 2008 3:00 pm  

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