Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Close Encounters of the Fan Kind

As weird as the following tale will sound, please be rest assured that as weirded-out as you will be, I was more so weirded-out. Right now, back to business.

I was going to do this one press release style, but hey I don't take myself seriously enough to do so. And it seems very lame now, though it was funny on Sunday. To the point, yeah get on with it, say the voices.

What is it with Blaaaaahnians?I mean really, people are going for Hajj, but 27 people pitch up to say goodbye to 2 people. Fair enough, but there's a designated Hajj Meet and Greet area at JHB International/O.R. Tambo International. Logic dictates that you go to those places and do your whole business there. But no, Blaaaaaahnians need to stand in the queues at the check in counters with the people travelling. Consequently, this creates a glut of people which then inconveniences everyone else because there's no place to move.

Bearing in mind that the general Hajj greeting process goes something like this: people going for Hajj go and visit all relevant people informing them of their intention to go, then the people who were greeted go to the people going to go and greet them before they go. And then they still rock up at the airport for one last shot at a goodbye. Before the cultural crusaders, imbecilic bandwagoners, and right-clicking thieves and company decide to educate me, I do know the meaning of the tradition and why people feel it is important. My gripe here is why they can't follow the rules and go to the designated area and not clog up an entire airport terminal making small talk from 6pm for a flight that leaves at 10pm. Blaaaaahnians.

Here's the weird part. So I'm at the airport, and I was at the check in area, not to be a Blaaaaahnian pleb, but because I had gone to find parking and was locating the car key owner who was in the queue. I decided to wait a bit away from the crowds because of the above ^. I don't like to inconvenience people, yes I'm nice like that. I stood about for a bit looking at the scene in front of me and thinking about how blog-worthy the whole situation was.This is when I notice a couple looking my way, then looking away. Forgot about it, and eventually I decided that I might as well go upstairs and watch some planes.

With the throngs at the airport as thick as being on the Plains of Arafat, I had to weave my way through a bit to get out. My Jheri Curl path takes me past "The Couple" and as I walk past them I hear a solitary "queen_Lestat?!". They didn't shout out loud or anything, but it was audible, (if I had no idea what it was about, I'd have walked right on)so I stopped and turned around kinda worried that I was starting to hear things. So "The Couple" nudges each other and then very politely asked me if I was queen_Lestat. I think they need to add a cement slab to the part of the floor where my jaw dropped. My dialogue was something like "errr, ehm, err yes, why?" and their response was a something gushy along the lines of "omg lol you're our hero!!!". Now queen_Lestat is an under the radar type character so this came as a bit of a shock. They recognised me from my blog. No, you didn't miss any pictures, but I'm sure you'd maybe consider stealing that too for some other nefarious ends.

Male-reader-half-of-"The Couple" said:"From your blog I figured tall female, dressed in black, wearing Doc Martens in this day and age".

queen_Lestat said: "Err you took a pretty calculated guess"

Female-reader-half-of-"The Couple" said: "We've been reading your blog for ages now, I thought it was maybe possible, plus you were looking at the place like you were amused, you know like posting a Chronicle"

queen_Lestat (still all wtf?):"Guilty as charged, lol, but I could've been anyone?"

Female-reader-half-of-"The Couple":"That's why we tried saying queen_Lestat because only someone who it clicks with will get it"

queen_Lestat: "aaaah clever people!"

*lols all around*

Male-reader-half-of-"The Couple": "I've never met a famous person before, we email all your stuff to our friends"

*queen_Lestat dies a million deaths*

Female-reader-half-of-"The Couple": "lol, so like can you please blog about this"

queen_Lestat (utterly mortified): "lol okay, it's too weird not too"

*exuant stage left*

Strues people, the weirdness of the life that is mine.Okay so they're loyal readers, but it doesn't make it any less weird.It's amazing how tiny little details can mean so much, things which you'd never really notice or think of as being too important.

I have no idea who these people are really, but hey here's your special Chronicle delivery on demand for you guys. Glad you enjoy them :)

I wonder if they, like Hunter S Thompson thought "there (s)he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die."

Love and staaarph to my two new found email people
rah*

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14 Comments:

Blogger Waseem said...

I like your tags, they are as everything of yours, original and extraordinary. I like this one from this post - 'on being so l33t you're copied'

On the post, a true wtf moment. My favorite bit - 'I've never met anyone famous before'. Did I not tell you that we are bound for fame? Must I search my chat logs? This is just the start, you should get to work on the *rah doll, remember to take out a patent ;)

November 27, 2007 3:46 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why do they e-mail their friends your posts when they can just forward the link? The story seems fictitious to me. Its either someone pointed you out to them and gave them a script to wind you up or you are just lying. I think you're lying. You know me and I know you...very well. M.D

November 27, 2007 6:04 pm  
Blogger queen_Lestat said...

Anon twit:

*rolls eyes*

I cannot promise the syllable for syllable correctness of the conversation I had with the people I met, but well I know who the people are when they explained which comments they've left.

Furthermore, I have taken chances like this with people in the past too. It's also known as stalking people at alt rock concerts.

However you, my big brave, ANONYMOUS person, I have no idea who you are. And if you knew me so well, they why don't you leave your name so that I can suitably smite thee.

There's an email post link btw, where you email entire blog posts to people. Right click cut and paste jobs are for people with zero upstairs.

But then again, to each their own.Believe what you like.

November 27, 2007 7:11 pm  
Blogger SingleGuy said...

OMFW!!! You know, you're not the only one with fans...I get FANMAIL....no shit....funniest thing ever...no idea what to do with it.

November 27, 2007 8:34 pm  
Blogger Fatima said...

i'm starting a RAH fan club.
anyone joining me?

;)

November 27, 2007 9:13 pm  
Blogger cobain said...

arggh rah, I *think* I know who this could be. Conveniently not using the better known initial in that sign off in the middle. But don't worry, it's a bitter, jealous cow person who is male but whines like a female.

No one can claim to know you very well, except someone who has all the arrogance of the world nestled in his frame.

This was a good post, and it's utterly obvious that the conversation wasn't exactly like that, but along those lines.

lol its cos of your alt rock concert 'stalking' thing that it's come back around and you got to be on the otherside of the weirdness.

btw waseem, the trademark is rah*, yours is a fong kong version. Can I be marketing person for the dolls? :)

November 27, 2007 9:20 pm  
Blogger Waseem said...

@cobain - I was meant it in an SQL way, as a wild card, if you get what i mean. But you're right to be saleable to the public it would have to be rah*, given some sensitive information. I was thinking you would be responsible for design. Marketing would be minimal, Queen being the shy away from the spotlight celeb she is.

November 28, 2007 8:48 am  
Blogger The Organ Harvester said...

it's worrying when boys wanna get involved with dolls. We need weapons on the doll.

You know me...I know you...Say you...Say me

Wait this is not a song.

Damn you Lionel Ritchie and your never aging wise and stick in my head lyrics.

I have had one or two fans come up to me and introduce themselves by their blog's name. I say

"oh that one, God you're so funny."

that line has worked so far.

And I have no idea what they're on about.

Most of the others thing I am a royal prick.

November 28, 2007 12:36 pm  
Anonymous the company you keep said...

doc martens are so 90s/grunge...I'm going to throw them away!!!

LOL this is like the 3rd or 4th time people stopped us cos they noticed them.the last time it was someone stopping us and asking you where you got them.get rid of them!

gotta get you into stilettos now lol! no more excuses hahah

November 28, 2007 8:12 pm  
Blogger bb_aisha said...

Enjoy the moment:-) I found it weird when I was in a mall, and people nearby recognised my voice from radio. Too strange.

At least you know your writing is valued, and considering you are one of the best bloggers, it's kudos to you :-)

December 01, 2007 4:30 pm  
Blogger saaleha. bamjee. hyphen. said...

definitely stalker-karma.

December 01, 2007 9:44 pm  
Blogger floydthebarber71 said...

how crazy!!! maybe the only chance i'll get to see u when im up there in that foul land is by looking for tall female in black wearing docs....hmmmz. so funny to see the comments too, man this blog place is a real laugh!!!

"im famous too! i get fanmail!"

"u're a fake, bitch! i know u very well, and yes im a stalker who licks pubes"

December 05, 2007 10:18 am  
Blogger queen_Lestat said...

LOL @ all of you

thank yee, thank yee...

*bows*

December 11, 2007 12:24 pm  
Blogger M Junaid said...

man - i loved this post! ( as you can see, i'm catching up on the chronicles ive missed)
i got asked by this chick today whether im concerning Mj - was rather funny - 'my name is MJ. Concerning Mj' 007 got nothing on me :P

you are so right about the hajj congestion - love the arafat reference

January 27, 2008 2:44 am  

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