Saturday, May 29, 2010

Tips for an Awesome Soccer World Cup

While an African winter with daytime highs of 12 degrees Celsius might seem like sweltering heat to some Europeans, there are some important things to take note of when packing your bags to come to the very beautiful South Africa for the World Cup this June. With just under two weeks to go, you may want to take some tips from a relatively experienced traveller on some do's and don'ts for SA.

My own personal feelings at the disgust I feel every time our government has to kowtow to some Fifa whim, or how Fifa is raping our country and bleeding it dry, aside. Almost none of the official Fifa gear is made in South Africa and it looks like China is the biggest commercial winner from the World Cup. However, despite the fact that Fifa is curio shopping us with a ridiculous dreadlocked feline of some sort as a representation of our country, or the fact that something which looks like it was done on some graphics creator on MS Word is supposed to be indicative of San Rock Art, and even the fact that Fifa is the de facto government of our country as 11 June 2010: this is going to be a World Cup like no other.

A few things visitors might want to realise:
- Don't bring loads of luggage, jeans pretty much works everywhere here unless you know for sure that you're doing something that needs a particular outfit. You will need the luggage room to take back stuff from here. Once you've tasted our Mayonnaise, Milk Chocolate, Biltong, and a large variety of our ordinary tinned jams, and store bought biscuits you will be looking for space to take it all back.

- Look for items bearing the Proudly SA logo and things which are made in South Africa. There's no point in buying stuff from here that you can get anywhere else. Also the Proudly SA logo is placed on high quality goods and services, and we place a premium rate on labour so you can know for sure that you're helping South Africans.

- You are coming into our winter. It's been relatively mild this year, but remember you will need at least one fleece lined jacket. Five degree weather might be warm for you, but when you're seated in a stadium a few meters in the air and have freezing winds blowing past you, you will be grateful you brought one with.

- Different regions of our country have different winter climates. In KwaZulu-Natal you will probably have no need for anything warm and will enjoy the beautiful coast. In the Western Cape for matches in Cape Town, it's generally rainy there and quite windy. Skirts are not a good idea and a light Dry-mac or waterproof wind-breaker with a hood is generally a good idea to keep with you. If you're walking about the city, an umbrella or hoodie might be necessary. In the interior, in Gauteng and the Free State this is where you'll be finding the coldest climates, with bright sun, dry weather but a real chill nonetheless. Layering your clothing with light long sleeved t shirts and jackets etc allows you to enjoy the warmer time during the day from around 11am-3 or 4pm. Mpumalanga and Limpopo are also warm provinces during winter, but they have chilly mornings too.

-If you are going to Limpopo and Mpumalanga, as a precautionary measure take malaria prophylactics. We don't have as high a malaria risk as other parts of Africa, but you'd rather be safe than sorry. You may buy mosquito repellant sprays and creams from most of the larger supermarkets, pharmacies etc. Do try to visit the Kruger National Park for a safari while you're in these areas and be sure to visit places like Pilgrim's Rest along the way. These quaint little farm towns have some of the best home made foods and hospitality which makes South Africa famous. Do not be suprised if you ask a local for help in a supermarket and end up getting invited for supper to their home because you're a guest here. (I've seen that happen three times!)

-A VERY important reminder. In order to curb the illegal use of prescription drugs, South Africa does not allow for local pharmacists to issue medication on a script from your doctor overseas. Should you be on chronic medication and you wish to get a replacement, please visit a pharmacy and they will refer you to a local doctor who will give you a check up and write out a script for you, alternatively bring enough medication for the duration of your stay.

- A lot has been said about our crime rate, but a lot can be blamed on the stupidity of tourists. Do not be paranoid and huddle in groups all over, but at the same time don't be lax about safety and security. Try to avoid roaming the streets alone at night, this is logic which is applicable to all large cities around the world. Keep your wallet and other valuables safely stowed in hotel safes when you go out and get one of those travel wallet bags to keep cash on you safely.

- Speaking of cash, there's no need to carry loads around you. You will need change and stuff to pay for small things like parking, but most stores accept Visa, Diner's Club and Mastercard services. Traveller's cheques may be cashed at the airport for the better rates they offer, but a good option would be to have a debit/credit traveller card set up so that you can have it cancelled and a new one issued should anything unfortunate happen. Cash cannot be replaced, but cards and traveller's cheques can be re-issued.

-Pack sunblock with a high SPF. There's nothing worse than pasty ass European travellers who come here and turn red and then they look like they have some kind of skin rejecting disease.

-Pack sunglasses, I have a South African friend who after living in England for five years and came to visit and ended up squinting all the time with watery eyes because the sunlight we have here even in winter is far more that most of Europe sees in summer. (Remember this if you're into serious photography too, most of the time you won't need a flash or speedlight for daytime shots).

- Be adventurous, sample our local food franchises and restaurants. McD's might be Fifa's choice but we've got some pretty good local ones too. Like Nandos. (Who got ripped off by Fifa too and were forced to pull out of all our stadiums). After all, our fruit and vegetables are packed and shipped off to Europe daily, so it's not like you'd be eating anything too foreign.

- Tip generously, most of our food services staff depend on the tips they get because their wages are rock bottom. This holds for any services offered here. Car guards even at malls often wait until the wee hours of the morning looking after cars, so pay them well because they're waiting out in the cold, looking after your assets for you. After all, a couple of our Rands is next to nothing in Dollar, Pound and Euro terms.

- Buy a vuvuzela, buy a makarapa, and get yourself into the spirit of things here. Yes, we may have one of the lowest ranked football teams in the world, but we're still wearing their jerseys with pride.

-You may want to learn or appreciate the song Shosholoza. This song, which likens the team to working in sync like a steam train, features prominently at all South African sporting events. Even if it's not an SA game, you can bet that if there's South Africans in the crowd, there'll be a call to sing this. In a stadium set up, the song starts sounding more like this. Awesome, hey?!

-You may also want to learn how to diski dance.

-If you're buying stuff off the side of the road whilst driving, make sure you've got the right amount of money ready so there's no fumbling and fussing over change while traffic lights change.

- If you're Swiss or similar, our traffic lights go from green (go) to yellow (slow down to prepare for stop) to red (stop). Not the other way around.

-Our cities in Gauteng especially, might look like nearby dots on the map. You could be forgiven for thinking that with a 120km/h speed limit you'll get between cities in under 30 minutes given the distance. But you will not, so plan accordingly and allow for at least 2 hours worth of travelling time each way due to the extra traffic volumes. GPS units are easily available all over the show from the larger stores and cost around $100 or so.

-We're not afraid of Muslims in SA. I know of 4 malls with prayer facilities for Muslims in Gauteng and the airport is also equipped with a Jamaat Khana. Halaal food is easily available and halaal items are clearly indicated on other food stuff, even things which you thought there never was any question over the halaality thereof, we've just confirmed that it is.

- Try not to be condescending to locals. We're a sensitive bunch, we pick up on racism easily.

- Don't come here with your ignorant tendencies. Don't expect the vibe, atmosphere and noise levels to be anything like any other European soccer match. Our local league team games create scenes like this and this. It might look crazy to you, but there'll be lots of security and order and obviously not that much room for too much of movement for the latter video. If you're going for games to Bloemfontein in the Free State you're absolutely lucky cos those supporters there will give you a soccer stadium experience you'll never get elsewhere.

-Speaking of ignorance, if you come to SA and wonder if this song is our national anthem, you're forgiven, but it's not. Our anthem's Nkosi Sikele (God Bless Africa). This anthem combines the traditional version of the struggle song with the Apartheid anthem Die Stem and a new verse in English (SA's mostly widely spoken and understood language)rounds it all off. If you'd like to see the original version of Nkosi Sikele, just have a look at our entire (mostly white)World Champion rugby team singing the current version with such pride at being South African, and look at how far we've come. In this version, legendary SA musicians like Hugh Masakela and the late Miriam Makeba sing it (about the first 4 minutes of it) and you can see the despair and lack of hope in their faces. This was obviously shot at a time when so much as humming a bar of Nkosi Sikele could get you jail time in South Africa. As such it was sung widely overseas and maybe one day I will treat you to a post on how and why people like my parents still get tears in their eyes and force us to stand for the anthem, even if we're watching sport at home, because such a simple thing was not allowed in the old SA. Other "struggle kids" I know always joke about how this was the first lullaby we were taught and there's lots of truth in that.


- If you need help, ask. South Africans are more than willing to assist people, you'll find us very friendly and warm in general.

- If your gut feeling doesn't trust someone, go with it. There's lots of people who sell watches etc on the road, be wary of especially the "originals" on sale as these usually have some kind of dodgey background. If a place doesn't feel safe to you, move out of there and go somewhere where it does.

-South Africa's opened her heart out to hope and the promise of giving our guests the best possible time. Treat her with respect and keep your litter and throw it in a bin.

-Should you wish to go on a tour of the Gauteng region or if you'd like a tailored list of places you think would be of interest to you, please drop me an email (queenlestat [at] gmail [dot] com) as I am a registered tour guide and I'd be glad to assist you.

Welcome to our land, we hope you'll enjoy your stay and that you're met with many positive experiences throughout your stay that you'll take with you back home. I hope these tips will be of some use to you. I'll be editing and adding on as I think of more stuff, so check back every so often.

Good luck to your teams!

May the Force be with Bafana Bafana!
rah*

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Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Umm, yeah...

So the last time I had one these moments it was over a multimedia pack of book, dvd and cd called Baby Shakespeare (somewhere back in 2006/7). You can pretty much figure out the contents I would've purchased had I had the need. I had no need, therefore I had a day or two of OMGMOMMYHOODSEEMSFTW!

At some crazy hour early this morning/late last night I had this brainwave of an idea which I wanted to do for some of the lil hobbits in my life, and I Googled in preparation for the task ahead.And then I found it, the idea in my head existed -_-, so much for originality, eh?. But it did save me some bother of finding tabs/notes to attempt my own renditions.


How awesome is this? Or any of these for that matter? Good musical taste cannot start young enough. Someday my kids'll have a blog and write stuff like "my mom was so awesomely cool, we had Smashing Pumpkins/NIN/The Cure/The Pixies/Nirvana as our lullabies"!

I am not crazy though, I've not purchased any of them yet. I've just wishlisted them all :D

Hold meeeee, for goodbyes and whispered lullabyes...
rah*

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Monday, July 28, 2008

Once Upon a Time

A young queen_Lestat woke up to a very rainy, as is tradition, 7th Birthday. The dashing prince Kurt Cobain was still alive in those days, much to the delight of many. However, as qL opened her eyes, she noticed a little package on the side of her pillow. Suddenly, it dawned upon her that it was her birthday and that this was not a dream.

qL smiled with glee as she opened the package to find a box set of the most beautiful looking books she had ever seen. And she had seen a lot of books by that age already. The books soon came to be her favourites, because it was still a good three years before the Royal Family of Weird and the Defenders of Against the Onslaught of the Blaaaaahnians, were to present her with the treasured family heirloom, also known as The Lord of the Rings box set. The books she was presented with on this fateful day was none other than the complete works of a certain Beatrix Potter.

Beatrix Potter revolutionised the concept of children's books and literature, was a keen business woman and an independent individual who fought against every possible form of social barriers to make a name for herself as one of the most influential writers of her age.She contributed to hundreds of children reading books, by making her books child friendly, self illustrated and non threatening/intimidating to children.




Happy Birthday Beatrix Potter (28 July 1866-1943), wherever you may be, from every single child* who found joy and comfort in Peter Rabbit, Flopsy, Mopsy, Cotton-tail, Squirrel Nutkin, Jemima Duck, and Little Pig Robinson.

*rah

To whoever gets that sign-off : ;)

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Friday, March 21, 2008

Worthy of Emo-ness or Not?

All credits are due to cujo who managed to make me simultaneously want to gag and LOL. But in all seriousness, with my terminal geekiness I was more zOMG and sad than LOL at first. It took me a while to see the funny side of this.

So without further delay, ladies and gentlemen, I hereby present the horror of the week:

Now in case you don't see the horrific part, the bald guy is Walter Skinner (Mitch Pileggi) and the other guy is Alex Krycek (Nicholas Lea) and they're very cosily playing guitars together.

Still don't get it? Skinner's Mulder and Scully's boss and he tries to save them from the duplicios Krycek. And look at Skinner's feet language!! Positively yergggh man. Skinner and Krycek that's not a very attractive couple man :/.

Still don't get it? You really should update yourself on your X Files knowledge.


zOMG this is undefinable, this feeling, it's like warm and fuzzy (cos on the surface it's an awww pic) but at the same time there's this rising bile feeling. Does anyone know if there's a 12-step programme for Chronic Geeks?


The Truth is Out There,
rah*

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Monday, January 28, 2008

In Typical qL Fashion:

In honour of three people, who in their own ways each deserve a post of their own, queen_Lestat hereby announces the arrival of some Black Humour. Now I know lots of people will probably get hard-arsed about something like this, but I think we should take a step back and heave a collective LOL at the non-religious elements of the composition presented:




B!, F!, C!...in that order!

*bows head in blasphemous shame*
rah*

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Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Close Encounters of the Fan Kind

As weird as the following tale will sound, please be rest assured that as weirded-out as you will be, I was more so weirded-out. Right now, back to business.

I was going to do this one press release style, but hey I don't take myself seriously enough to do so. And it seems very lame now, though it was funny on Sunday. To the point, yeah get on with it, say the voices.

What is it with Blaaaaahnians?I mean really, people are going for Hajj, but 27 people pitch up to say goodbye to 2 people. Fair enough, but there's a designated Hajj Meet and Greet area at JHB International/O.R. Tambo International. Logic dictates that you go to those places and do your whole business there. But no, Blaaaaaahnians need to stand in the queues at the check in counters with the people travelling. Consequently, this creates a glut of people which then inconveniences everyone else because there's no place to move.

Bearing in mind that the general Hajj greeting process goes something like this: people going for Hajj go and visit all relevant people informing them of their intention to go, then the people who were greeted go to the people going to go and greet them before they go. And then they still rock up at the airport for one last shot at a goodbye. Before the cultural crusaders, imbecilic bandwagoners, and right-clicking thieves and company decide to educate me, I do know the meaning of the tradition and why people feel it is important. My gripe here is why they can't follow the rules and go to the designated area and not clog up an entire airport terminal making small talk from 6pm for a flight that leaves at 10pm. Blaaaaahnians.

Here's the weird part. So I'm at the airport, and I was at the check in area, not to be a Blaaaaahnian pleb, but because I had gone to find parking and was locating the car key owner who was in the queue. I decided to wait a bit away from the crowds because of the above ^. I don't like to inconvenience people, yes I'm nice like that. I stood about for a bit looking at the scene in front of me and thinking about how blog-worthy the whole situation was.This is when I notice a couple looking my way, then looking away. Forgot about it, and eventually I decided that I might as well go upstairs and watch some planes.

With the throngs at the airport as thick as being on the Plains of Arafat, I had to weave my way through a bit to get out. My Jheri Curl path takes me past "The Couple" and as I walk past them I hear a solitary "queen_Lestat?!". They didn't shout out loud or anything, but it was audible, (if I had no idea what it was about, I'd have walked right on)so I stopped and turned around kinda worried that I was starting to hear things. So "The Couple" nudges each other and then very politely asked me if I was queen_Lestat. I think they need to add a cement slab to the part of the floor where my jaw dropped. My dialogue was something like "errr, ehm, err yes, why?" and their response was a something gushy along the lines of "omg lol you're our hero!!!". Now queen_Lestat is an under the radar type character so this came as a bit of a shock. They recognised me from my blog. No, you didn't miss any pictures, but I'm sure you'd maybe consider stealing that too for some other nefarious ends.

Male-reader-half-of-"The Couple" said:"From your blog I figured tall female, dressed in black, wearing Doc Martens in this day and age".

queen_Lestat said: "Err you took a pretty calculated guess"

Female-reader-half-of-"The Couple" said: "We've been reading your blog for ages now, I thought it was maybe possible, plus you were looking at the place like you were amused, you know like posting a Chronicle"

queen_Lestat (still all wtf?):"Guilty as charged, lol, but I could've been anyone?"

Female-reader-half-of-"The Couple":"That's why we tried saying queen_Lestat because only someone who it clicks with will get it"

queen_Lestat: "aaaah clever people!"

*lols all around*

Male-reader-half-of-"The Couple": "I've never met a famous person before, we email all your stuff to our friends"

*queen_Lestat dies a million deaths*

Female-reader-half-of-"The Couple": "lol, so like can you please blog about this"

queen_Lestat (utterly mortified): "lol okay, it's too weird not too"

*exuant stage left*

Strues people, the weirdness of the life that is mine.Okay so they're loyal readers, but it doesn't make it any less weird.It's amazing how tiny little details can mean so much, things which you'd never really notice or think of as being too important.

I have no idea who these people are really, but hey here's your special Chronicle delivery on demand for you guys. Glad you enjoy them :)

I wonder if they, like Hunter S Thompson thought "there (s)he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die."

Love and staaarph to my two new found email people
rah*

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Thursday, June 14, 2007

Inflation

1x pair of Doc Martens somewhere around 1996 or before...R300-350ish

December 2006...they die whilst not in my direct possession.

1 x (last) pair of Doc Martens(tagged with the sign of the beast) June 2007 from some obscure charo shop... R200

(I kid you not, that was the price. Thanks to some weird high paying, very easy,very last minute editing job, (which I didn't think counted as "work", therefore considered it freebie money)I only had to throw in R200 which is R100 less than 10 years ago.)(Okay, my logic might be a bit weird there but it makes sense to me)

...Being rawking enough to still wear them...

....priceless.

\m/




For everyone else there's pointy Nine West Stiletto boots
(but not for,)
rah*


PS breaking them in again is a bitch...

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Tuesday, June 12, 2007

ph0r g4m3rz



...the bowling game...lol..

To my fellow gamer geeks out there wherever you may be in this world...Enjoy

credits to the devil himself :) for this gem :)

And if you don't get it, well then, you should know I have keine Mitleid für die Mehrheit :)


Auf Wiedersehen
rah*


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Monday, January 08, 2007

'Twas the season to be bo-ored

Hello friendly friends!!! Who used to say that? Aaaah ye that turtle fellow...

The parents are back from Hajj.And I've been making my own little pilgrimage with little offerings of tea, zam zam, etc up and down and around and lets clean up now and then lets start over again.Usual drift at my place, only on steroids now. Apparently quite a marvelous experience, and best done when you're young. In the process cashed in on an ipod. YAY!!! now I just gotta figure out how the damn thing works. And while I cashed in on a cult item of the 'naughties i lost out on a cult item of the last century. The last pair of Doc Martens died. dead. gone. finished. impossible. dunno how it happened, but it's over, ripped asunder. Now not only have I seen Live in concert, but now ze Docs have died. Grunge is over. The music will live on forever though.*siiiiiiiiigh* enough tragedy...

O I learned to cook, not that I couldn't before, but now I can cook like what my aunt calls "a proper human being".Talk about charo fundamentalism. Anyone up for khuri kichari? dhaal and rice?All the optional extras that go with it?

I flew a plane. I kid you not. A Cessna 172. Went flight training at Rand Airport, which's in and around Germiston side of GP. Once we reached around 7000 feet I was allowed to steer and navigate all the way to Brixton Towers and then round Ponte Towers in Hillbrow. It was my luck that the runway was busy so we had to stay in the air for a longer period before Air Traffic Control brought us back so pilot Howdy and I took a trip around Johannesburg and then got back. It's a really beautiful city from up there. Quite an experience. Fabulous. I can see why they say that there's a height requirement for pilots.I'm not as short as I should be perhaps.A slight bit of a genetic freak I am, but it's quite tough to see over the top bar of the cockpit control panel thingy. And if you can't see over that, you can't see buildings in front of you...do the math....

Also in this holiday, I have been weaned off the internet and most GPRS operated things, purely due to a lack of availability. However, being in the company of so many females(I am unaccustomed to the phenomenon, I have male siblings only) I've learned to slightly tolerate female whims such as browsing shops with no particular purpose or fitting on stuff you're never gonna buy...ever. However, I can go 20 minutes in a shop now, much better than the 5-10 I could spend and then say "hey guys, I'll be in the book store when you're done ok?"

Now as you can probably tell by the fact that Doc Martens have been blogged about, I do have a bit of a shoe fetish(not in THAT way), but ya i do. And for 2007 I want to buy myself a high heeled shoe. Not a boot or a sandal, but a shoe. A black one, preferably something funky, yet classic. 2007 is the year I say screw the short people, I would like to have something besides flats on my feet, if only for a little bit. Yeah, those dreams get dashed the minute you fit one on, then you realise why you wear flats. Well that and the fact that with a small heel on you're nearly 1.8m tall, and that's not so grand, when all your friends are hobbit sized. You parade around (in flats) like the Giant of Blaaaaahnia.Well not as bad as a female Matthew McGrory, but still relatively bad compared to the rest of my friends. Just once I'd like to wear something like this.

However I think I might just end up re-investing in the 90's.It's sooo much more comfortable to make tea and carry trays around in flats :)

I get a cramp in my cheek and my knees grow week...
night night
rah*

PS... got a busy year ahead of me, but I will try to continue eating up bandwidth with my arb stuff at least more than every so often. All these freaking bugs are kamikazing into my screen.Like a plague. The only light around I guess.

PPS... I might be rich, thinking of becoming a celebrity sue-er person/thing. the k-man will have details! :P

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