Of Grammatology**

For a long while now I've been wanting to do a series of posts on language usage.

While I sit about and try to make space for all the cows (I thought the first rule about this was do not link the OH, but seems like everyone's done it already.This linkage should free up about two steaks for someone else now. I'm magnanimous like that :P), I've got an issue once again with language and English.

Learn from this, see how it works, ask me if you don't get it and I shall re-explain gladly (all confidentiality held). It's not about being a pretentious language buff, it's all about helping people who seem to have no end to embarassing themselves with these basic errors. And yes, getting these grammar rules correct are requirements on the Jedi list (being the precautionary measures set in place, which should be satisfactorily checked off, before one can consider long term bovine investments).

Please do accept this paltry offering in the spirit that it was intended and so that you may de-idiot before typing up things. This is something which works on my nerves, not only because I'm a grammar nazi by profession, but also because I remember learning this in Standard 1 or 2/Grade 3 or 4 (all credits dude to Apartheid's House of Delegates owned thorough-bugger teachers) and I think that it's easy enough to understand and apply. It's quite a shame when otherwise intelligent human beings screw up their text with some of these errors. Errors which are made mostly due to not understanding the basic premise of word classes.

In English, as in all languages, there are word classes. This means that certain words function as a particular type of word or within a particular context.


There's three types of word classes which seem to confuse the hell out of the lesser mortals of the realm.

Prepositions, pronouns, and contractions.

Prepositions: Split the word into two pre -position, before a position, it denotes a place, a position. It is not to be confused with a pronoun. Examples include; Here, there, above, below, inside, outside, underneath. (PLACES)

Pronouns: Split it into two as well and nouns are people, places, things, tangible stuff unless it's an abstract noun. Examples include; his, her, them, their, our. (PEOPLE)

Thus, there is not the same as their. There shows place, their shows ownership.

Conractions are words which are joined and shortened by an apostrophe (an apostrophe which does not show possession). Consider the sentence: Here's his book, he's going to need it. (WORD(USUALLY PREPOSITION OR PRONOUN)+(USUALLY)AUXILLIARY VERB)

He's is a contraction for he is or he has. It's not the same as his which is a pronoun. Common errors include: "his mad" instead of he's mad.


Are we all clear on this one?

Next up: Concorde, Plurals and Apostrophe.

Class dismissed!
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**Bonus points to the reference catcher.

Close Encounters of the Fan Kind

As weird as the following tale will sound, please be rest assured that as weirded-out as you will be, I was more so weirded-out. Right now, back to business.

I was going to do this one press release style, but hey I don't take myself seriously enough to do so. And it seems very lame now, though it was funny on Sunday. To the point, yeah get on with it, say the voices.

What is it with Blaaaaahnians?I mean really, people are going for Hajj, but 27 people pitch up to say goodbye to 2 people. Fair enough, but there's a designated Hajj Meet and Greet area at JHB International/O.R. Tambo International. Logic dictates that you go to those places and do your whole business there. But no, Blaaaaaahnians need to stand in the queues at the check in counters with the people travelling. Consequently, this creates a glut of people which then inconveniences everyone else because there's no place to move.

Bearing in mind that the general Hajj greeting process goes something like this: people going for Hajj go and visit all relevant people informing them of their intention to go, then the people who were greeted go to the people going to go and greet them before they go. And then they still rock up at the airport for one last shot at a goodbye. Before the cultural crusaders, imbecilic bandwagoners, and right-clicking thieves and company decide to educate me, I do know the meaning of the tradition and why people feel it is important. My gripe here is why they can't follow the rules and go to the designated area and not clog up an entire airport terminal making small talk from 6pm for a flight that leaves at 10pm. Blaaaaahnians.

Here's the weird part. So I'm at the airport, and I was at the check in area, not to be a Blaaaaahnian pleb, but because I had gone to find parking and was locating the car key owner who was in the queue. I decided to wait a bit away from the crowds because of the above ^. I don't like to inconvenience people, yes I'm nice like that. I stood about for a bit looking at the scene in front of me and thinking about how blog-worthy the whole situation was.This is when I notice a couple looking my way, then looking away. Forgot about it, and eventually I decided that I might as well go upstairs and watch some planes.

With the throngs at the airport as thick as being on the Plains of Arafat, I had to weave my way through a bit to get out. My Jheri Curl path takes me past "The Couple" and as I walk past them I hear a solitary "queen_Lestat?!". They didn't shout out loud or anything, but it was audible, (if I had no idea what it was about, I'd have walked right on)so I stopped and turned around kinda worried that I was starting to hear things. So "The Couple" nudges each other and then very politely asked me if I was queen_Lestat. I think they need to add a cement slab to the part of the floor where my jaw dropped. My dialogue was something like "errr, ehm, err yes, why?" and their response was a something gushy along the lines of "omg lol you're our hero!!!". Now queen_Lestat is an under the radar type character so this came as a bit of a shock. They recognised me from my blog. No, you didn't miss any pictures, but I'm sure you'd maybe consider stealing that too for some other nefarious ends.

Male-reader-half-of-"The Couple" said:"From your blog I figured tall female, dressed in black, wearing Doc Martens in this day and age".

queen_Lestat said: "Err you took a pretty calculated guess"

Female-reader-half-of-"The Couple" said: "We've been reading your blog for ages now, I thought it was maybe possible, plus you were looking at the place like you were amused, you know like posting a Chronicle"

queen_Lestat (still all wtf?):"Guilty as charged, lol, but I could've been anyone?"

Female-reader-half-of-"The Couple":"That's why we tried saying queen_Lestat because only someone who it clicks with will get it"

queen_Lestat: "aaaah clever people!"

*lols all around*

Male-reader-half-of-"The Couple": "I've never met a famous person before, we email all your stuff to our friends"

*queen_Lestat dies a million deaths*

Female-reader-half-of-"The Couple": "lol, so like can you please blog about this"

queen_Lestat (utterly mortified): "lol okay, it's too weird not too"

*exuant stage left*

Strues people, the weirdness of the life that is mine.Okay so they're loyal readers, but it doesn't make it any less weird.It's amazing how tiny little details can mean so much, things which you'd never really notice or think of as being too important.

I have no idea who these people are really, but hey here's your special Chronicle delivery on demand for you guys. Glad you enjoy them :)

I wonder if they, like Hunter S Thompson thought "there (s)he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die."

Love and staaarph to my two new found email people
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ph0r g4m3rz

...the bowling game...lol..

To my fellow gamer geeks out there wherever you may be in this world...Enjoy

credits to the devil himself :) for this gem :)

And if you don't get it, well then, you should know I have keine Mitleid für die Mehrheit :)


Auf Wiedersehen
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Don't Act All Suprised Now.

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

This poor, poor dude. The symbol of freedom's now sadly a symbol of Capitalist fashion. Bet he's rolling in his grave everytime a new Diesel line comes out.

I guess it's an honour to be a Che-thinker/leader type eh.

/me bows
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*insert verb phrase here* + Bandwagons

Okay, so I've been tagged by none other than the lone writer, mr k-man himself. And now I wonder what I can possibly say since nothing is really secret in the blog-o-sphere because in the main, the link-hopping readers of this and other Coven blogs are like most egte charos - connected some or the other way. I think Bibi-Ayesha mentioned something to that effect once. But anyways 5 things you don't know about me. Well lets just say, by now I think most of you have realised that I'm not exactly the most normal of people (I'm being diplomatic here).Prepare yourselves accordingly. And no this is not going to be a Ricky Lake snot-en-trane type session.

*Awful pun alert* This is gonna get really taggy:

5: I'm ambidextrous (children, this is the term that you use when describing someone like that girl in the corner who can write with both hands. This is not to be confused with " being 'bi' " which will be discussed when you get to big school by another teacher).

4: I'm 23 and still have my milk teeth [you're all going :| + o_O + -_- right now, yeah I know].Four on the bottom row fell out and the rest never did. Apparently it's rare but not unheard of. The enamel hardens and they become like permanents. I R a weird medical file. I have an allergy count of 714 and 0-25 is normal. 27 is abnormal! Soooo what am I?!

3: I'm double jointed. Did someone say Eugene Victor Tooms?(hyper-linked only because I feel particularly magnanimous towards the plebeians of Blaaaaahnia tonight).

2: You all know I'm a bookworm and Lit buff, but the other day on a typical book shop visit, I picked up a book called something like 1000 Books You Have To Read Before You Die or 1000 Greatest Novels Of All Time. Something to that effect. Yep, you guessed it, I've read most of them in my life time and those which I haven't read I've heard of. Here's an _|_ for whoever says that's sad.:P

1: I can't think of anything now, but if you haven't read my blog profile, then continuing with my fit of magnanimity I will point out that I can speak and understand Elvish. Sindarin and Quenya, yeah behbeh.(More so Sindarin than Quenya). Yes I watched The Lord of The Rings without needing subtitles. And you thought you were such a l33t mofo because you knew what Amitabh Bachan was saying without subtitles, eh?! *shines nails on collar*

I know this is a 5-part tag but:

0. I feel cold, most of the time. Body temperature is normal-cold. I hardly ever feel boiling hot, even in summer. There are people out there who-shall-not-be-hyperlinked will attest to this fact. And you said I wasn't really a vampire? :P

*gets the broom to fend off stalkers*
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